no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
