if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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