Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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