I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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