Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
