I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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