i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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