He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
