Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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