did you get engaged???
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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