at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im six kinds of drunk right now
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
