We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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