Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
