Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize