How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
