I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
