i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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