ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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