when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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