none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
