My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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