He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
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I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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