Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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