Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
