Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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