i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
