The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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