I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so let's talk penis.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???