I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
and she was petting her beer can
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..