Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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