We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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