but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you win again, gameday.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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