just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
