His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
