just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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