I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
