Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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