I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
