420 ftw
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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