dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
