I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
