K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize