his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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