I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's no shave November. This is our time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY