Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school