you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep