He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
