Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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