either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
