I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
