I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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