i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my shit smells like andre
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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