windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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