Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize