She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
