Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
