the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
