your room smells of hookers.
And success
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
