My first STD was from a foam party
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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