can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
only if we run a train.
done.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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