i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I could fuck to npr.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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